ready, steady, go
Today was alright. Did less than I had planned on doing, but otherwise it was alright. I played some game and cleaned some - mostly to try and shut my brain up because it's not doing much in the way of being nice to me right now - nor is it feeling like being creative surprise, surprise. Stupid fucking brain.
Tomorrow is the dreaded Monday. Dreaded because it's the first official day of my new position. I have already, obsessively, made a list of things I have to do tomorrow before 9 and I don't know if that was a good idea or not. I suppose it will take me a couple of weeks to get into a bit of a routine so I don't ruin my mood with stupid shit like that. Because yeah, my mood wasn't all that bad to start with today, and there were definitely better moments, but you know - stupid brain.
On Tuesday, after I get to deal with the mucky-mucks in a conference call, the Evil Government People are supposed to come to the house. I asked J what time that was happening so that I could be here - you know, since this is not an easy thing for him at all, not to mention the fact that I am ostensibly to be filling the role of step-parent. But he told me not to worry about it. I don't know if it was just because I was bemoaning the fact that I would have to sit in the back office for an hour or so and perhaps thought I'd not get to leave early but he won't elaborate beyond "it's fine, I'll take care of it, it's my responsibility." Yes. It is and I'm glad he's taking it as that, but he can't just seem to say "no, I really don't want you to be there, this is why." Would it kill him? Maybe he thinks it'll kill me after Friday's episode? (!!) Either way, I'm tired of talking sideways at each other. Is it me or is it both of us? I really can't tell anymore.
*Growls*
Stupid brain.
listening to: Paul Oakenfold - Ready, Steady, Go
eating: spaghetti
today's project: cleaning
word of the day: pudenda
reading: The Wellspring - Sharon Olds
feeling: apathetic
headspace: on the caterpillar's mushroom, wishing I had a hookah
Tomorrow is the dreaded Monday. Dreaded because it's the first official day of my new position. I have already, obsessively, made a list of things I have to do tomorrow before 9 and I don't know if that was a good idea or not. I suppose it will take me a couple of weeks to get into a bit of a routine so I don't ruin my mood with stupid shit like that. Because yeah, my mood wasn't all that bad to start with today, and there were definitely better moments, but you know - stupid brain.
On Tuesday, after I get to deal with the mucky-mucks in a conference call, the Evil Government People are supposed to come to the house. I asked J what time that was happening so that I could be here - you know, since this is not an easy thing for him at all, not to mention the fact that I am ostensibly to be filling the role of step-parent. But he told me not to worry about it. I don't know if it was just because I was bemoaning the fact that I would have to sit in the back office for an hour or so and perhaps thought I'd not get to leave early but he won't elaborate beyond "it's fine, I'll take care of it, it's my responsibility." Yes. It is and I'm glad he's taking it as that, but he can't just seem to say "no, I really don't want you to be there, this is why." Would it kill him? Maybe he thinks it'll kill me after Friday's episode? (!!) Either way, I'm tired of talking sideways at each other. Is it me or is it both of us? I really can't tell anymore.
*Growls*
Stupid brain.
listening to: Paul Oakenfold - Ready, Steady, Go
eating: spaghetti
today's project: cleaning
word of the day: pudenda
reading: The Wellspring - Sharon Olds
feeling: apathetic
headspace: on the caterpillar's mushroom, wishing I had a hookah
Labels: little black raincloud, obsessobsessobsess
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