Darkmoon II :: New Illusions



Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Pet Peeve of the Day

When I'm in the shower and the inner shower curtain billows in from the movement of warm and cold air and sticks to me when I'm trying to wash. Stupid shower curtain.

As you can probably see I was having a pretty crappy day yesterday. I think it's more than the weather change, though that's certainly having an effect. Stayed home today because J was feeling the weather change in his bones and reacting to his new meds in an unfavourable way. Being at work and worrying about him all day would not have been a good thing.

Tried writing today, but I'm at that point where I have to decide which direction I want to go next and there are a couple of options that require rewrites of previous parts. Suck. I did make reams of notes however, so I do feel like a accomplished something, regardless of my irrational rant about hating housework because it got in the way of things. *rolls eyes* I'm sooo dramatic. (Maybe I should start somthing else o the side so that I have something else to obsess over...)

Ate too much junk food today.

J's currently sitting at his computer, which he's managed to rebuild into a faster, prettier machine than it was previously, with the aide of almost an entirely new system. I think the only things that are the same are the cd drives. I'm amazed at how these computers have come to be the axis around which our lives move. His motherboard crapped out on him and he was freaking out that his computer wasn't working. Within 15 minutes we were at the computer store. Thing is, he'd been threatening to upgrade the system come next paycheck anyway. (We're just doing things backwards now, lol.) I think the old computer heard him and committed suicide. He doesn't believe me, the heartless bastard. ;)

Ah, so not heartless. He and Miss Kitten are having a heart-to-heart right now on the couch. They have such an interesting relationship those two. Kitten will swat at his foot whenhe walks past until he "beats her up" by rubbing her belly with his foot so she can kick and bite it. I think it's cute that he'll oblige nearly every time.

on my winamp: Goldfrapp - Physical (Olivia Newton John cover)

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Monday, August 29, 2005

Mondays Suck

Ah, the headache acquired from helping people over the phone. I was put into a new queue today, which required me to perform a funtion that I was unfamiliar with save for an email I'd received in regards to said function this am. So. Early morning notice in writing: this is how you do this: GO! Ok, so I'm thinking it won't be that bad since I probably won't get that many calls from that queue and go ahead and log in and guess what. That's all I did today. MOTHERFUCKER!

Hate you freaking a-holes.

Needless to say I spent most of the day with my head in my hands growling at the computer, because it decided that today would be a good day to not let any of the excel spreadsheets actually open up. This is tatamount to making me do a lot of things blind, which is why it was a good thing I didn't have to place any orders today. Stupid stupid headache. Stupid stupid job...

Today was my first day with my new team. We're in the upstairs center, which is waaay warmer than downstairs and I was getting a little overheated, so I'm going to have to wear lighter clothes tomorrow. Of course, when we got out today it was pouring rain and I had my fleecey off and I got soaked. Not good for the cold!

Urrgh. Home today on time only to discover that J's computer has bitten the dust. So now he's mucking about in a pile of parts trying to make the damn thing work again. *rolls eyes* I wish him luck.

Later: looks like he's had success. He's the kind to truck through until he's figured everything out. That's my maaan.

on my winamp: Portishead - Sour Times

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Sunday, August 28, 2005

Happy Anniversary

J and I have been together for four years as of today. =) Here's to many more. Love ya hon!

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Saturday, August 27, 2005

Sick!

I'm supposed to be at work today, but my head feels like it's full of pudding, or some equally semi-liquid substance that threatens to dribble out my ear. My sinuses are throbbing, but I don't have any of that nasty runoff that occurs when one has a sinus cold. Yet. My throat feels like sandpaper and I just want to curl up and snooze. When I called in this am my voice even refused to work properly.

Last night J and Fletch and I helped Rachel move into her new place, which is the top floor of an old house not too far from where we are. She went from a huge ground-floor flat to that wee space and she barely has room to move for boxes full of stuff. She has her work cut out for her today.

This am, at about 430, 5ish there was a cop (or two) outside playing with his fucking siren, just running through all the sounds and being a jerk. I wanted to get up and throw shit at him, but I was so tired I couldn't make my limbs obey. Apparently Fletch went out in his robe and got the dickwad's badge number since he wasn't doing his fucking job anyway. I mean seriously this town is going to shit when the cops spend the night racing their fucking cars up the road instead of patrolling the drug runs. I say, this is making my decision to move a little easier.

The other thing that makes that decision that much easier is the notion that it will be a temporary move. I don't think either of us will want to spend more than the few years it will take for me to get my degree there. J's daughter is out here, my family is out here, as is my beach... oh the island. I am such a freaking island girl. Sigh.

Saw Rachel again today when we helped her move an entertainment stand to her friend's place. Then J and I went to the pub that's just down the way for lunch. I couldn't eat all of my lunch, which is rare for me, so I must really be sick. Then we came home and played some AC.

I had this stuck in my head all day today:

Snows of the Sahara
Only tell me that you still want me here
When you wander off out there
To those hills of dust and hard winds that blow
In that dry white ocean alone

Lost out in the desert
you are lost out in the desert

But to stand with you in a ring of fire
I'll forget the days gone by
I'll protect your body and guard your soul
From mirages in your sight

Lost out in the desert
You are lost out in the desert

If your hopes scatter like the dust across your track
I'll be the moon that shines on your path
The sun may blind our eyes, I'll pray the skies above
For snow to fall on the sahara

Just a wish and i will cover your shoulders
With veils of silk and gold
When the shadows come and darken your heart
Leaving you with regrets so cold

Lost out in the desert
you are lost out in the desert

If your hopes scatter like the dust across your track
I'll be the moon that shines on your path
The sun may blind our eyes, I'll pray the skies above
For snow to fall on the sahara

If that's the only place where you can leave your doubts
I'll hold you up and be your way out
And if we burn away, I'll pray the skies above
For snow to fall on the sahara

on my winamp: Enigma - Snows of the Sahara

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Thursday, August 25, 2005

Quirky

I had a customer use the word "ubiquitous" in the right way on the phone yesterday. I admit now that I'm crazy, so that when I say that made me grin like an idiot, it won't surprise you. Seriously, I cringe when people misuse the language and don't care. They don't realise how much power and beauty it can have when they endeavour to use it to its full potential. So yes, that customer made me very pleased.

The rest of my calls yesterday were surprisingly smooth. I worried all day that I'd have to place an order on the one program that decided the day before to blow up on me. I'm still a little stunned by the number of programs we're supposed to use - and use correctly. I just counted, that's approximately 18. Now is it any wonder that customers complain that we take too long to help them? I wish they'd get their butts in gear and combine all the billing systems into one. Preferably the one that makes the most sense! Wednesdays at work suck on one level, and that's because there are only three from me class there and it's so busy that you can barely talk to each other. I want to be in the group next to us - they're specialised and they have enough tome between calls to play poker and magic: the gathering.

Anyway, the good news is, is that I'm finally getting some confidence with the programs and the work. If I don't know something I know that there's someone a call away that can walk me through it.

I came home yesterday and there was a lovely thing on my msn on "how to choose the right personal trainer" and I almost snorted my drink out my nose. I don't know about you, but I don't know many people who can afford to blow huge wads of cash for someone else to tell them how to exercise and eat. You'd think shit like that was common sense. (Mind you, who am I to talk, I'm a lazy one here - but at least I know it and aknowledge it!) It just struck me funny I suppose.

Oh yes, and the amazing Glyndor is coming to visit next month. He'll be here from the 12-16 if his third job gives him the time off. Mwahaha! That means I get Glyn hugs! Then he's off to the interior to visit the Erin. What a novelty: a vacation.

Quote of the day:
"I just left my brain up in the top corner of the room with that sneeze..."
"You want me to go get it for you?"
"Nah. I don't want it back."

Above: what you would have heard if you'd been lurking outside our window last night. I think J's tired of his brain!

Oh yes, and on Monday, apparently J and Fletch saw a girl downtown that they both mistook for me. I mean hello. This is J. The person who sees me the most and he thought this other girl was ME. I swear she's kin somehow. It's possible. I've been asked or told numerous times that I have a sister. Now I just have to see her, lol!

In other news: I actually slept all the way through the night last night - and into the morning. I m ean, I didn't wake up intil 8:30am this morning. I feel great. Of course, I had some really wierd dreams - probably influenced by the Hithchiker's Guide and the fact that we watched Van Helsing last night. I was on this space ship as a refugee human being and was quite shocked to discover that the aliens I'd hitched a ride with looked exactly like us. They were smug about it and said something along the lines of "where did you think you came from?" Their customs were a little wierder, of course as befits aliens, but they didn't seem to mind me turning into a werewolf as black and as expressive as the one that Jackman turns into in Van Helsing. So: my dreams have inspired a story once again. Thus, I am off to scribble!

Until later.

on my winamp: Tricky feat Alison Goldfrapp - Pumpkin

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005

I Surprise Myself Sometimes

This time with my foresight. How did I know I'd need this today?

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Monday, August 22, 2005

Unexpected Day Off

Played hookey from work today. We both did actually, in the hopes that we could spend the whole day together, but then J had to go and work on a move job, for one stupid reason or another. I wish B would get his stupid shit together. He's J's business partner but he doesn't seem to understand the concept of responsibility. Seriously, I don't understand how a man can live to be that old and still act like a fucking 13-year-old who thinks the world owes him everything and that he shouldn't hve to work for it. A lazier dipshit I have not met. J was supposed to be home 2 hours ago (this I gather is because B neglected to actually do an estimate for the move job in the first place, and also neglected to mention that there were a whole lot of stair involved, which is NOT cool for J's hip - nor the rest of his joints to be honest.) and the dinner I made has gone cold. I feel today a little like the neglected housewife. And then I feel guilty for feeling that way because I know that J's working his butt off today and here I am farting around with my "novel".

Hrm. Something's not right there. I shouldn't feel guilty for working on my novel. It- and all the other writing I do - is important to me. For my sanity. Just because I'm not out busting my body to make a living today doesn't mean that there is no labour involved. This novel's my ticket out of that call center. At least I'd like to think so.

Shit I hate when I get like this.

I tried to call Nomes today, but she doesn't even have an answering machine for me to leave stupid messages on. Now I'm too tired to actually talk. Suck.

Did get an email from Lindsie this am though, when I thought I was heading off to work at the same ungodly hour. J and I made it as far as the Mac's before we decided that we'd just stay home. I suggested my corny movie idea, but then this whole move job crap came up. He even shaved this morning, so he was all smooth and smelling good. Damn... it promised to be such a good day. Sigh.

I wonder how much longer J will be, if I should heat up my own dinner and leave his in the oven. I'm getting sleepy. I can't believe how fast I get tired these days. Getting up early and heading to bed at 9 makes me feel freakin' OLD.

I wish there was a way to just magically fix everything.

My indecision about school, my debts, the bumpy bits in my relationship, my social faux pas' etc. I need to find my balance again.

I just wish I remember when I lost it.

on my winamp: BT - The Last Moment of Clarity

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It's about time.

This is awsome. It's about time we saw some real women in our magazines. There's more to life than obsessing over the fact that you've got thighs bigger than other girl's waists after all, isn't there?

on my winamp: Bif Naked - I Love Myself Today

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Sunday, August 21, 2005

Lindsie Rocks

because she had a fabulous idea - and because of that idea I had a rather lovely one myself that fixed a minor problem that was developing in my story.

J rocks because he rearranged the furniture in his semi-annual "nesting" phase and managed not to totally shock me when I came home. The house always looks cool when he's been playing with furniture. I just wish that he'd not lift the couch my himself since he can get sore from doing it. I don't think he realises that I worry about him 24-7 with his joints and aches and pains. He hardly ever complains about it, but I can tell when he moves just which part is hurting him. Weather changes are the worst, like wednesday when it rained in the am and then was sunny in the pm... I was surprised that he actually went to work. This weekend he got a new video card and speakers for his computer so he's been playing AC almost incessently. He had three days off this weekend, the lucky devil. Should have stayed home today, then we could have just had a nice lazy day together. Oh well, perhaps something to plan for Friday. Mmm, yes. How about Corny movies and some chocolate chip cookies or something?

(Well, they both rock simply because they breathe, but that's a given.)

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Saturday, August 20, 2005

I was Going to say Something Profound

but my mind died....

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Thursday, August 18, 2005

How Working in a Call Center is like Playing Whack-a-Mole

Imagine, if you will, rows upon rows of desks, each with a computer screen and a telephone, a grid in a vast room. Imagine, if you will, shifts of people working for eight hours at a time taking calls from customers all over the US who are (mostly) not happy with something. Sitting is not something the average human being can bear for too long, so every now and then, people stand up. We call this gophering. When you stand, you can see random people stand and then sit as they speak, are waiting for calls, or are on hold. I'm in a corner right now, so I get a good view of the downstairs floor and I imagine having one of those foam bat-things with which to bash my coworkers when they gopher. It would be such a good stress-reliever.

Also, I was struck, (like I occasionally am) with an odd thought when I went into the ladies room at work. The first toilet in the ladies had toilet paper in it so I immediately bypassed that one in favour of the next stall. Why is it that we do that? Avoid any toilet that has something in it in favour of one that's clean and empty? We're just going to do our business in it anyway. I justify the behaviour with one word: backsplash. But then, what has anyone to fear from floating tp?

What is equally peculiar: the fact that I felt the need to blog that. Dooce, you must be rubbing off on me.

Payday tomorrow. J and I both have the day off and he seems determined to spend money. As long as I get some shoes and maybe a haircut then all is good.

I wrote today. I feel good about that. Maybe I will even write some more tomorrow, but I think that's probably doubtful. *sigh*

on my winamp: Under the Gun - Supreme Beings of Leisure

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Sunday, August 14, 2005

A Series of Events Related Only by the Fact That They Happened on the Same Day

Woke up a little later than usual this am because j and I stayed up to finish watching Alexander. I didn't realise how long of a movie that was. I thought it was pretty good, considering that it was Colin Farrell inthe lead role. I wasn't sure how I was going to take him as Alexander. I'm glad to say that I didn't mind it. He was the only one in the movie though that I had trouble believing was acutally the character - perhaps that's my own bias cming out though, because I'm sure that no one could really do the real Alexander justice. (He is one of my more favourite historical figures.) I did like the choice of Jared Leto as Hephaistion though - I just wish that they'd been less "careful" with that relationship than they so obviously and painfully were. It wasn't done badly, I just think it was done too self-consiously.

Anyway, regardless of the movie's virtues or lack thereof, it took me a while to fall asleep last night, so this am I was hard-pressed to wake up. Thankfully, being a Sunday, it was slow enough that that didn't matter. Battled off and on with a bit of a headache, had a few giggles with some of my team-mates. Tried to remember some of the wierder old-school dance moves. Even got one of the floor-walkers to demonstrate the cabbage patch for us. Good times. One of my teammates had brought one of those little stress-ball things shaped like a football and she was passing it up and down the row, and even rebounded it off of Smiles' head. Too funny. It was a pretty good day. At least until my last call. I swear I did voice mail all day, and this poor woman had no idea what she was doing. She had a guy at a store program the phone for her and he'd done it backwards so I had to reset everything. Thus I got out late and as a result J and I missed the bus and had to wait 45 minutes for the next one in the infernal heat. You know the kind of heat I'm talking about, the kind that makes your clothes feel heavy because they start to retain water from your sweating. Yeah, that kind of heat.

While we were at the bus stop, a truck went by and backfired, just as it passed us and it echoed in the bus shelter so that my ears rang for a good ten minutes afterwards. It was so loud that at first I thought it was a gunshot. Scared the willies out of me!! Sheesh...

Then this guy came and sat on the bench with us. He had two skateboards and some metal in his face. No biggie. But he had this bottle of pink five alive that he took a couple of swings from and then set down beside him. Then he leaned over and pulled a bottle of vidka out of his backpack and spiked his drink. He muttered something like "I don't like taking the bus, it makes me nervous" as he put the cap back on his juice and shook it to mix it. I was tempted to ask him for spike mine, but there was only a mouthful left in the bottom of the bottle.

Then, while on the bus I read the "poetry in transit" which happened to be an excerpt from Patrick Freisen and sweltered some more in the sun that came through the window. The girl sitting beside me kept nodding off and starting awake in the funniest fashion. When it came time to get off, I got up as the bus was nearing the stop, which is not unusual, since it takes a bit to get to the door when it's so full. Anyway, the driver slammed the brakes so hard that I slid off the step and down onto my knees. This is not a good thing, since my ankle's still a bit off from that trip down the stairs at work I tooka few weeks ago. Fucker didn't even apologize for the brakes and sped off. Seriously, that's not cool! What if I'd been some little old lady, or someone with fragile bones who'd fallen and broken something? You don't just speed up like you're driving a race car and then slam on the brakes when someone wants off and GIVE YOU PLENTY OF TIME to slow down. Fuckers are SO getting a nasty phone call tomorrow when I get home from work.

Otherwise, it was a pretty good day.

On my winamp - Nine Inch Nails - Only

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Thursday, August 11, 2005

Questions, Answers and Choices

The world is made up of these. Repeat performances of the same dance, over and over and over. Action, reaction; decision and consequence. I think the rough patch that J and I are going through could have been avoided. I got wrapped up in myself - which I have a tendency to do - and mistreated him because of it. I let my better judgement slide. Of course, this is mostly because I lost sight of what I've got while in search of where to go next. One thing I've realised is that I'm not willing to just let go of what I've got just because I'm a little disillusioned about where we are. It is worth some work. We just have to remind each other not to take each other for granted.

on my winamp - Gwen Stefani - Cool

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Card of the Day: The Moon


Layers of illusion are removed; your essential self is disclosed.

The card in the Self position reveals aspects of how you perceive yourself right now.

With the Moon in this position, you are cast into your deepest unknown. Not to be seen as either bad or good, this is an opportunity to penetrate your inner life. You may be familiar with this experience or you may never have experienced it before in your life.

You are moving between worlds, shifting and modifying. Reality changes from hour to hour; your rational mind has deserted you, leaving instinct and intuition as your guides. All the architecture of civilization has been stripped from your personality and you are naked unto yourself.
(General Meaning: What has traditionally been known as the Moon card refers to a deep state of sensitivity and imaginative impressionability, developed within a womb of deep relaxation. Here we dream and go into trance, have visions and receive insights, wash in and out with the psychic tides, and experience deep mystical and/or terrifying realities beyond our ordinary senses. The full moon and/or eclipse cycle charted by the Magi (as in some of the earliest Moon card images) exemplify this as a mechanism that Nature uses to expand consciousness.

The variants of the courtly lovers (representing skillful use of the sex force) or the man sleeping it off under the tree (use of drugs to alter consciousness) are also traditional avenues for tapping this primal force. Human interest in higher states propels us to the frontiers of consciousness, where we cannot always control what happens. The Moon card represents the ultimate test of a soul's integrity, where the membrane between self and the Unknown is removed, and the drop of individuality reenters the Ocean of Being. What transpires next is between a soul and its Maker.

In the 'self' position of a spread: The card in the Self position reveals aspects of how you perceive yourself right now.

The Self position represents your personal identity in the Now -- the only real point of power. It's not about you in an objective sense, but rather a reflection of how you perceive yourself. It points to an aspect of your self-image, outside of how others might see you.

Consider the meaning of the card that lands here in light of your inner experience, your personal perspective about yourself and the issues you bring to this reading. Who are you? What kind of attitude or energies are affecting you right now? What do you want? It's not always easy to know yourself. Clarity about values and roles is essential for skillful behavior. Values evolve, but don't be too attached to roles -- they can change.

Your attitude is of primary importance here because, more than anything, it supports a capacity for happiness, success and love. How are you contending with fears that arise? What aspect of yourself is in need of development here? Is there any attitude that may be in need of change?

The way you perceive yourself may prove to be accurate or inadequate as the reading unfolds. You may want to take a second look at this position at the end of the spread.

My Horrorscope for today: Although relationship issues are now in the forefront of your life, you may not want to express all that you feel. Don't waste energy worrying if this is proper; it is. Not all feelings are appropriate to put out into the open. They are your private emotions and you are allowed to feel them fully, whether or not you share them with anyone at all.

on my winamp: Schiller mit Hepper - Dream of You

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Sunday, August 07, 2005

Conundrums and Problem Plays

I had a strange dream this morning before I woke up at 4am that I'd got my foot caught between the boat I was sliding off of, and a blue whale. I'm not one to ignore what my subconsious tells me but at this point I'm a wee bit baffled about the significance of the whale. However, I do think I should get my ankle checked out this week, it's still hurting me, even after two weeks. (This is what I get for attempting stairs.)

If I'm honest with myself, I've been in 'deep thought' for about 8 months or so. Why? Because it's so easy to lose sight of where and who I am when I'm caught up in the here and now. I spent so much time and energy working on my degree and my writing that I have to admit that I pushed everything else to the sides. One of these things - and not the least of them by any means, was my relationship with J. We'd both got to the point where we were taking each other for granted, and as a result, these past couple of weeks while we're readjusting to our new routine, we've had a few spats. Outright arguments I should say, which is totally unlike us. I think we'd forgotten how to talk to each other. Heck, the last time we went out anywhere with other people was New Years and then I had a crappy time because I didn't know anyone there and had nothing in common with any of them. This last weekend it was his turn, though he managed well enough I thought. Seems I was wrong - but I believe that it was merely the straw that broke the camel's back more than anything. We've both been feeling like things are out of sorts lately but neither of us were able to breach the breakdown in communication we've managed to create with our respective gluing to our respective computers and I was beginning to look for answers in all the wrong places. He's been feeling the need to return to TO, to put some personal demons to rest for some time now, and I didn't realise how imperitive it was to him that he go. He's been with me through these last four years with all of my ups and downs and now that he's got to deal with his own, I feel like I want to be there for him while he works out these demons.

On the other hand, I also feel like I should take some time to rediscover myself because I feel like I've lost touch in this respect as well. I've never been on my own. I've always allowed other people to influence me on where I go and what I do, even if it is marginally. These last four years have seen me improve, but I'm still certain that I'm not what I could be. Somehow, when I was young I got the impression that I needed to change myself in order to be acceptable to other people. I know I didn't get this from my mother. What I got from her was an inability to express, verbally at least, what was in my head. (This is why these blogs have been such a good thing for me. I can just spew what's in my head out and take a step back.) Anyway, I've been doing this for years, at least until after M when I decided that I wouldn't ever again. I did well for a while, but I've realised that I'm right back at it, yessing almost everyone. Therefore, at my new job I've been trying very hard to leave the expectations at the door and just go with it and so far I've been doing pretty well. But I'm still up in the air about where to go next.

So how do I reconcile the two? Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't love J anymore, I can't change the fact that I do even if I wanted to. It feels like what we want is starting to diverge and I just don't know where to go with this. *sigh*

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Thursday, August 04, 2005

Yeah, THIS is how my brain works....

I'm just glad that my cats don't rebound off the walls like these kitties do. Mind you, they DO attack stray limbs. I wish I had hardwood floors...

Anyway, had a pretty good day at work, but that was mainly because we hardly did any work at all. 'Am' told some great stories and I know at one point I laughed so hard I cried. She tells awsome stories. And I got paid for it. Ha!

I'm still waiting for the info I requested from the University of Western Ontario and UBC. *sigh* I want to start planning... now that I've made up my mind!

J's watching wrestling, and Holmes on Homes during the commercial breaks. I sighed and complained about the wrestling and he snipped about my music, so we're back to normal it seems. We had a "conversation" last night, but I don't particularly feel like we resolved anything completely, but I do feel better than I did earlier in the week. Ugh... so complicated. I hate complicated.

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Wednesday, August 03, 2005

How Introspection isn't always Good for the Soul

For the simple reason that it causes me to second-guess myself, to re-examine every word I've spoken in the last while, every thing I've done and not done. Is there something I missed? Where am I going, and is it the right choice? Am I making the choice for the right reasons? I've felt like I don't know where I stand for a while now, and this last month I made a choice about school, but I don't know where that leaves the rest of my life.

on my winamp: Collide - Wings of Steel

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Tuesday, August 02, 2005

In the Beginning, at the Dawn of Time...

there lived the gods, and being gods, they decided that they needed creatures to worship them, and so they decided to create mankind. These creatures were sexless, had two heads, four arms and four legs. They spent their days on the earth in perfect harmony and happiness. The gods grew jealous of their bliss and decided to punish them by sending down lightening bolts that spilt them all in two. From that point on, every human being spends most of his or her life searching for his/her other half, or soulmate.

What I want to know is this: how does one know when one has found this soulmate? How can anyone expect to do so at a young age when they're still discovering themselves? What happens when the person you believed to be your soulmate doesn't feel the same way? Is there more than one person out there for you? (This is partially something I feel like I can answer, because I think there are people who are right for who you are at the time.) Are we really just parts of a larger whole? I'd hate to think so. But then what drives us to subject ourselves to the repetition of doomed relationships in an attempt to get it right when there's no guaruntee that things will work out? Were we naturally meant to be monogamous lifemates or is that something our ancestors cooked up to deal with something they feared? (My thought here is: Probably.)

One could rant on about how our society has developed into a malignant thing that hinders our ability to get in touch with our inner selves, and develop a real rapport and understanding of life, the universe and everything, blah, blah, blah... But I needn't. You know what I'm talking about. You know how easy it is to get stuck in a rut, to play it safe, get sucked in. Easy, just to take things as they are without questioning why they are that way.

The question remains: what on earth are we to do about it?

on my winamp: Tripswitch - Exiled

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Fire, Smoke and Mirrors

Last night, while J and I were watching the original Hitchiker series on DVD, we started to smell smoke. Unnerved, we put our shoes on and went outside to investigate. After discovering that it was not, in fact, our building, we started to walk about to look for the source.

Outside it was like October. The air was thick, like it was coated in fog - and the smokey smell brought to mind bonfires. We walked to the top of a nearby hill and we could see a plume of smoke billowing into the sky. Light from the fire and from the lights of the city reflected off the underside of the cloud, making it look ominous. We didn't go down to look, as it was already about 10 and we both had to get up in the am. This afternoon, I found the story in the Times Colonist.

In other news, J's taken overtime again, which means he's getting the earlier bus, which means that he would like me to ride in with him in the am since I have to start at the same time. This sucks, because it means I have to get up an entire hour earlier than if I get a ride with A. besides, I like getting a ride with A. J can be just a wee bit TOO chipper in the am... Anyway, no sense in making mountains of molehills. At least I can lean on him on the bus, lol!

on my winamp: A Quiet Storm - Rachel Howzell Hall

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Monday, August 01, 2005

The Weekend the Bus Seats Melted

I went to Van to visit the amazing Lindsie this weekend. She has the cutest little house, and she's filled it with all her amazing artwork. She even drew me a picture, which is now hanging on my bulletin board admonishing me to not eat the shrimp.

I caught the 12 bus because I obviously can't read a bus schedule well enough to read the right day. At the bus stop I got chatted up by a guy in a tie-dye shirt who shook my hand very firmly. He even said it was nice to meet me when he got off the bus, and I was nicely amused because it's not often that people actually treat others that politely. On the ferry I read my book some more. It's The Anvil of the World by Kage Baker, who I've enjoyed reading every time. I have a grand total of 10 pages left. When I got off the ferry I got on the bus and rode that for 40 minutes, occasionally buried in the book and occasionally amazed at the amount of effort that the city has put into moving people around. No one can say that Vancouver's transit system is crappy, not with busses, skytrain, seabus, etc all over the place. I met the lovely Lindsie at an exchange and we got on another bus.

Lindsie made a faboo lunch, which we devoured with much relish and then we struck off to investigate the main library branch in Vancouver. Place is HUGE. I must admit, I had to resist drooling. Then we walked about a while, saw chinatown, gastown and the requisite corner of hastings. Then we went for dinner and ate heartily. Then we chattered some more, and watched some late night TV and then dozed. In the am we explored her little area and had brunch in a little diner, which was very cute. She showed my pictures, and some of her art (awsome books!) and then we chatted randomly about our respective stories. (I'm glad I had my story on my mind, I got some good ideas, since it takes place in Van)

I caught the 6 ferry back and was home just about the time that J was.

It was a good time! Thank you Lindsie! Hope you're having fun with the parental unit!

on my winamp: Motorcycle - As the Rush Comes

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