I've been visiting memory lane fairly frequently of late - which I find I do when there are large changes in my life. A new job tends to fall into that category, because it changes my schedule - and for someone like me, who likes to be organised and finds it hard to be spontaneous - this can be huge.
Anyway, I was on the bus at some point earlier this week... I think Tuesday, and I got to sit in a window seat with my book. Only I wasn't reading my book, I was watching the world go by as the bus moved and I started to think that no matter how much I might hate taking the bus all the way out to wherever I'm going when I'm in a hurry, I actually like riding it.
I think it all started in Elementary school. Since I lived so close to my school, I could walk. I left at 10 after 8 to hike up the hill and was at school in good time before class started. Taking the bus was something that I associated with field trips and the bigger kids; the ones that went to junior and senior high school. I'd walk across the school-yard to the opposite side where the busses stopped - all two of them - to drop off the kids that lived further away, because my friend H got to ride one.
Field trips, even if they were to a show at the local community center made riding the bus an adventure. We got to go somewhere with our friends and without our parents in most cases to shows, camping, to other cities... and for my 12-year-old mind it was the coach to teenagerhood.
The first day of grade seven, I was maybe a little overly early to catch the bus, since it was just around the corner from home. All my local friends came and stood with me, a little apart from the older kids who spat and swaggered a swore with 13-year-old vigour. We did our best, wearing our new Guess and Esprit baggy white tees and Club Monaco sweatshirts, and slinging our backpacks over one shoulder, crammed with binders and pens (Yes, pens rather than pencils!) and cocking our hips in an I-don't-care attitude, trying to be as cool as possible for when the bus pulled up. The Junior High bus and the High School bus were the same one, making a stop at the junior high before going on to the High school. We all clambered on with barely contained nerves and excitement. The older kids claimed the back of the bus. I saved a seat for H, because we'd be taking the same bus this time and I watched as she waved to her little brothers as they stood at the elementary stop trying to look mature enough to be by themselves.
The after school bus became a time of unwinding. We'd wait for it outside the school, milling around and trying not to stand too close to the "loser crowd" or the "cool crowd" who we considered to be complete snobs. I remember we had a bus driver who we called by his first name, Bill and we'd urge him to go fast over one stratch of road because the bus would bounce wildly - especially at the back of the bus, which were the most coveted seats. But after H got off, I'd usually be by myself, so I could watch the scenery pass by and I'd be able to relax a little before getting home. I have a little of that now, when I take the bus home from anywhere.
Getting onto a bus still has a little flavour of adventure, associated with tour coaches in Europe and field trips to places like Bamfield and Strathcona.
This is officially my last week at The Evil Job. Evil, evil place that it is. This alone makes me feel pretty damn good.
This also means, however that I am careening head-first into a new job, which is always a little nerve-wracking... made especially so since I have a total of two (yes TWO) outfits that are remotely acceptable as "business-causal" wear... not to mention the fact that of the three bras I own that are serviceable, none of them are entirely... flattering... anymore. So. New job also seems to require new clothes. I'm only partly sad about that, and that really only has to do with the amount of money that's going tot ake, when I could be getting ahead on student loans which are going to haunt me for the rest of my freaking life.
Man... I'd love to win the lottery, then we could actually DO all the things we want to do rather than just think about it endlessly.
Today when I took the long-ass bus ride out to get my paycheck, I stopped at the local Co-op and bought a can of pepsi. The first sip took me back to grade eight. I don't know exactly what it is about drinking pop out of a can, but it tastes different than it does when it's from a bottle - perhaps it's some trick of the carbonation.
Anyway, for a few moments while I sat at the bus stop I was back on the dock in Maple Bay with my constant pal of that year - I'll call her JJ. It was the year when Crystal Pepsi as all the rage. We had a routine that started during the school year, where when she came over, we'd head down to the little blue store on the water and purchase a good hauk of junk food and then go sit on the dock to talk about boys, fakers and whatever else came into our minds. Occasionally we'd attempt to fish using mussels, and sometimes we fed the sea anemones with the remains. JJ wasn't much for swimming in the ocean though, and preferred the pool at her dad's house, so when we went there we'd swim in her pool, walk to the store on the highway that was closest to her house to get our fill of junk food and then talk some more about boys (mostly her latest crush, which was all melodrama and occasionally reached near-stalking proportions.)
I remember one time distinctly, because it was still cool out and we had both insisted on wearing only sweatshirts - as is the wont of the hot-blooded teenager: too cool for coats. We were holding our pops with our hands as far inside our sleeves as we could manage and eating sour candies from the little paper bags the store provided. We were sitting on the edge of the dock because the tide was too high for there to be a proper beach. I remember a boat came roaring into the bay and slowed as it approached the dock, the wake making us bob in the water. JJ immediately took interest in the fellow at the wheel, but I - not being as desperate to "complete myself" with a boyfriend - just watched JJ study him as he piloted the boat up to the dock, jump out and moor it with a couple of expert twists with the ropes. It was the way she watched him move up the gangway that made me realise that we were growing up, leaving childhood behind.
JJ introduced me to PM Dawn and Baltimora, among other music - as well as my first encounter with Pot. Her dad smoked it quite a bit, which kind of unnerved me, since he drove an ambulance, and once during a sleepover, JJ suggested that we try some. Being the overly cautious person I am, I refused to smoke the stuff. The scent bothered me, even though I had an intense curiousity about the subject, I'd heard all the not-so-lovely stuff that can happen with it. Being thirteen, however, did not mean I was exempt from all kinds of mischief, and we did end up getting into her dad's stash of alcohol. I remember parts of that night in a strange haze - partly because of the bonfire that her dad and step-mom had built in the back yard, where they snuggled and made out like teenagers, and partly because of the buzz we had while we swam in the pool and strutted about in out bathing suits hoping the cute neighbor boy would notice. JJ put on all kinds of wierd music and we made jokes about people at school who usually made fun of us.
In the morning we biked around the neighborhood, feeling a little heavy-limbed, but still cocky and in-your-face about life; probably still high on the fact that we'd been drinking last night and got away with it. We felt like we had crossed some threshold, exited some part of childhood forever.
Heh... funny where a single sip of pepsi from a can can take you...
1. Favorite Chocolate (Dark, White, Milk): White, or milk... depends on my mood.
2. Favorite Pizza Toppings: Ham and Pineapple, or the greek one with feta on it
3. Favorite Food Question (It's obligatory that every quiz ask this): uhm food?
4. Favorite Cheese Type: Cheddar, monteray, feta... how about just cheese?
5. Favorite "Pirate" Word or Phrase: yar! Load them cannons and blow 'em to smithereens ya landlubbers! Yar!
6. Favorite Music Genre: Ambient Electronic
7. Favorite Music Artist: Delerium/Conjure One
8. What are you listening to now?: Covenant - Tension
9. Favorite Movie Genre: Epics and adventures. (esp sci-fi and fantasy)
10. Favorite Movie: Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail (I can't argue with this one, but I also adore Hackers, Foxfire, The Fifth Element, Stigmata and Underworld... to name a few)
11. Favorite TV show: I only download shows if I want to watch them due to the senseless channel surfing of the man. Among these are: (currently) Invasion, Bones, Alias, Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, Gilmore Girls, Firefly, Battlestar Galactica, Medium and other random episodes, mostly anime (today it's Battle Angel Alita - again)
12. Favorite Console Game: Tetris! And Alias and FFX because those are the only ones we own.
13. Favorite Computer Game: World of Warcraft
14. Favorite Board Game: Scrabble
15. Ever play Dungeons and Dragons?: Yes (and yes, I have actually played a couple rounds of warhammer now too...!)
16. Where are the Cheetos?: At the store still. Cheetoes and the like get eaten too fast here. They never even make it to the pantry - even if we had one.
17. Can I have a Mountain Dew?: How about a Dr. Pepper instead?
18. Believe in some sort of higher power?: perhaps. I believe in my gut reaction.
19. How many of these quizzes have you ever taken, email or blogs, in your net-surfing career?: I'm not even going to try to count!
20. On a scale of banana to zebra, banana being "pink polka-dotted slippers" and zeebra being "WTF?", how surreal would a guy taking a shower in a tub full of brightly coloured wrenches and monochromatic cat toys be?: Cowpies
21. Have any pets?: 2 kitties.
22. If yes on 21, What is the silliest thing you have seen them do?: Hanging off the side of the couch with string in their mouths. Cinder sitting like a person in J's chair with her front paws on the desk or trying to reach through the bars to swat at me. Kitten rpeatedly going back to chew on the garbage bag after I've shooed her off. Jumping into the tub when it's full and being too shocked to jump out.
23. You think I, Karnov, should have ended this quiz 2o questions ago? but then I wouldn't be giggling now, sheesh
24. Ever Play 20 Questions?: Yes
25. Think I get bored on my lunch breaks?: hrm, if I didn't before, this would be the only clue I'd need.
26. Who would win in a fight between Mr. T, Chuck Norris, and that giant robot from that one goofy Beasie Boys Video?: Chuck Norris, I can't argue with that at all, but only because I know that robot was made of tin.
27. Could you convievably use a Terrabyte Harddisk?: Most likely.
28. HAH! HAH! I ACTUALLY HAVE A 28th QUESTION!!! (Unfortunately it is more of a statement): Silly, silly Karnov
29. Paper or Plastic?: Plastic, they recycle well as kitty-litter bags.
30. Who will you tag to take this quiz next (Pick 1-5)?: no one, unless they want to.
Off to the second job in a bit. Feel a little like I'm carrying too much on my shoulders, but not sure at this point how to lighten the load except work my butt off. J's under the weather again, and won't talk about anything, so I've only got a faint idea what's up. I think in part it has to do with the work situation. My intense hatred of the current full-timer has rubbed off on him.
Yesterday am, before we had left for work, someone rang our buzzer at 5:30am. I gather it was the same lovely people as the day previous. Nothing this morning though, which is a good thing or I'm sure there would have been some dead hooligan around somewhere.
Tomorrow: two interviews and a short shift at the part-timer. Friday, a looong-ass trip out to get the paycheck and a food-shop. The five more days of hell most like. I do try to find the humour in it, but its hard at the moment.
Our neighborhood is definately going down the crapper.
I was woken up this am before my alarm by some dude who locked himself out of the building. Now, this isn't just some dude, he's the building's resident dealer. Our landlady knows this and has been trying to catch him for weeks so she can evict him. Anyway, I suppose dude had trotted down the street at some ungodly hour this am to make a sale, forgetting both his jacket and his keys. can we say "Bonehead"?
So what does he do? First, he wiggles the door, to see if it's open. He is the one I gather, who usually puts a rock in the corner so that it doesn't close properly. This time this morning whoever left for work or was coming home got wise to it and kicked the rock away. (I know I always do, I don't want some random theif or whatever coming into the building, no way!) Granted, because of our position right above the door, it wakes me immediately. I don't think anything of it at first because the door is opening and closing all night - but it continues. He jiggles, he whistles, he implores passing strangers for the use of their cell phones, all of which I can hear clear as day even though my window is closed. I roll over and mumble my displeasure at the freak whining under my balcony.
My alarm goes off, and J's goes off and he turns his lamp on because that's what people do when they're going to get up from work. I've barely got my eyes open when dipshit buzzes us. Trust me, this is NOT a sound anyone wants to hear first thing in the morning. Granted the guys is probably freezing, but I have a hard time summoning and kind of sympathy for him. If it had been me I'd have either contacted the landlady and begged forgiveness for waking her, or hopped down to the 24-hour restuarant an hour ago to get some hot chocolate and wait until I knew people would be awake, but no, this guy is not normal. He has to get back inside because he knows he'll have another 'customer' soon. So we ignore it the first time, thinking he'd get the picture, but no, he does it twice more.
I slap on my robe and poke my head over the deck and tell him to stop fucking buzzing and he whines about how cold he is - which I can see since he's wearing short sleeves - but I tell him no. I don't know him from Jack the Ripper thankyouverymuch if it's urgent he can call the landlady. (It's true, I've never seen him before!) J, peeeved now that the guy's giving me attitude calls her for him.
So our landlady dragsher poor self out of bed and lets the fucker in, much to his chagrin. I'm sure he didn't want her to know about his outings anyway. Then there is silence for and we think its over.
But its not.
Someone is outside now, yelling to our cold dude to be let in. Lo, if it isn't his cusomers. J, out on the balcony with his morning smoke tells them to please not yell since people are still sleeping and the guy pulls attitude. Says he lives in the building and would J mind if he let him and his friends into the building. J says no, that he doesn't know who they are and if it's important he can call the landlady. Obviously he doesn't live here and certainly doesn't want the attention of the landlady, so he gets mouthy with J instead. Bad idea.
"You don't like me, do you?" he says and J, blowing smoke, replies; "No, I don't," and comes inside to call the landlady.
Our buzzer goes again and it's just after 5am. I'm ready to march down the stairs and punch all three of their faces in, but from the strung-out glitter in their eyes I'm sure none of them'd feel it anyway.
Our landlady lets them in, but tells them its the last time. J tells her to call the cops, but she already knows they won't send anyone because "there aren't enough personel to keep up with all the requests and complaints."
Ten minutes later and they're leaving and the cocky fucker buzzes our apartment again. At the glass doors I watch one of them finger me as they climb into a white car with no liscence plates.
J predicts they will be back in two-three hours and he's livid.
When we moved in the worst people here were the college kids who drank too much on a friday night. Now we've got orange lights outside so junkies can't shoot up and dealers and pimps are moving in and then out once they're busted. J wants to speak to our local MLA who's set up shop down the hill, because we don't want this crap, especially if we're going to have the kiddo with us.
Especially not if we've potentially got a repeat of this incident in our future.
2. Full name: If you know me, you know, otherwise you'll have to guess.
3. Nickname: Khali/Soozie-Lou/"Bobo" (thank you Lindsie)
4. Piercings: ears - for the moment only once.
5. Most recent movie you've seen in the theater: We usually wait to rent, so I think the last one we saw in the cinema was the last Lord of the Rings as a special treat.
6. Eye color: Brown. The colour of chestnuts 7. Place of birth: Victoria, BC.
8. Favorite foods: I like food. Right now craving seven-layer dip.
9. Ever been to Africa: No, but there are parts I'd like to see (but after all the other places I want to go to.)
10. Ever been toilet papering (rolling): hells yeah. There wasn't much else to do in the town I grew up in except get into mischief.
11. Love someone so much it made you cry: Yes. A couple of times.
12. Been in a car accident: yes
13. Croutons or bacon bits: both, but I put croutons in my pasta sometimes too.
14. Favorite day of the week: Right now, Thursday because its my saturday.
15. Favorite Restaraunt: Moxies
16. Favorite Flower: Magnolia
17. Favorite sport to watch: dog trials
18. Favorite drink: Baja Rosa
19. Favorite ice cream: Vanilla because you can out stuff on it
20. Disney or Warner Brothers: WB, but I like anime best.
21. Favorite fast food restaurant: Ugh fast food...
22. What color is your bedroom carpet: sort of a brown-grey like the rest of the house. Hate apartments.
23. How many times you failed your driver's test: None
24. Before this one, from who did you get your last email: Tarot.com daily horror-scope.
25. Which store would you choose to Max out your credit card this week: a bookstore
26. What do you do most often when you are bored? Organize things, read, draw, write, WoW and the last resort is the TV, but that's usually when I feel really manky.
27. Who will respond to this e-mail the quickest: only whoever feels like continuting the madness. I did, after all, filch this from Karnov.
28. (Since here wasn't a 28, I'll make one up:) What aggravates you most? Ignorance
29. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond: I'm not sending it to anyone, except perhaps the kiddo since she emailed me the same one. 30. Who are you the most curious about their responses to this Questionnaire: one of these days I'm going to make up my own with some odd questions.
31. Favorite TV show: NCIS, Desperate Housewives, Alias, Grey's Anatomy, Bones (all of which I download to watch)
32. Last person you went to dinner with: My spousal unit (hehe, can't argue with that)
33. Ford or Chevy: Honda
34. What are you listening to right now: The cat growling at whoever is in the hallway.
35. What is your favorite colour: blues
36. How many tattoos do you have: None yet
37. How many pets do you have? Two kitties
38. Which came first the chicken or the egg?: the proto-chicken
J is currently having a conversation with Miss Kitten. Whenever he goes into the bathroom she'll go in with him and sit on the bathmat - which she has decided has been put there for her convenience - and talks. This cat has a huge range of "words" and when J talks back it becomes quite the conversation. One day I ought to record them.
Well, I have been remarkably boring lately, which is why this lovely little corner of the internets has not been updated in the last little while.
I have worked, played WoW and read copious books. I've also plastered my resume all over town and have my fingers crossed that someone will call me and hire me at a decent wage. Before I said I had a prospect - which, if I weren't paying back student loans would have been quite a good thing, but as it stands it wasn't going to work for now. It was assistant manager at a store I used to work at; a store I left for reasons similar to the ones that are pushing me to leave the call center.
I did not watch the Oscars, though I did catch some snippets of the red carpet when J was channel-flipping. (I also saw way too much in Ultimate fighter and racing, but what can a girl do?) Even when we find a show that we both want to watch, as soon as the commercial comes on he has to start flicking - and we hardly ever get back to the show in time. I hate missing anything, which is why I end up downloading the shows I want in the end anyway. It's funny how this could be something we could fight about, but we never do. Sometimes I hide the remote, but that's another story *grin*
Snippets:
Back in february while I work, one of the other call centers got closed and I looked up at the reader board to see exactly why and scrolling across it was this message: "*** center closed due to insolent weather conditions..." and I had to pause. Hoe can weather be insolent? I mean, that's something you could stretch and work with in a poem, easily, but it was totally unexpected for a reader board in the middle of a crappy-ass call center in February.
Also, at work, I started having to write down some of the names I encountered. Seriously, I'm stunned sometimes by these names and I have to mute myself so I don't burst into torrents of insane giggles when they tell me their names. Seriously, what were these parents thinking naming their son "Brackett"? Or the woman who was amed Finalee. Yes, she was born late and yes, I really, really had to ask. Calvert got a snort out of me too. After the first few Lashawnda/Latonya/Ratoya/Lukesha/Lucretia/Kiyasha combos those stopped having the same affect, but every now and then one gets me. I have a list. Trust me. Things like this are sometimes the only things that get me through the day.
In the ladies washroom at work I overheard some chick cheering herself on in the mirror for "cheating" the company out of a hundred bucks. I imagine she gave a credit to a customer rather than escalate a call to someone higher up. "Policy" from the compnay is very tight-assed about credits, which is idiocy, considering it's a new policy that negates the way the company was run, and the reputation it used to have. I felt like cheering her too, but I figured that might e a bit wierd coming from a closed stall and all.
Listening to: Stabbing Westward - Waking up Beside You
I was cranky when I woke up to J's alarm because it's an obnoxious sound, but then Miss Kitten came and patted my arm as if to say she understood , and purred when I rubbed her tummy. Then it wasn't so bad.
Today, while I was walking to the local pharmacy to buy penny stamps I saw a man drive by in a shiny black Hummer with a handicap sign in the window. I had to smile, because I think of the Hummer as a military vehicle, compelete with all the "macho" connotations you could think of - and the little blue and white wheelchair symbol kind of crushed that.
I finished a novel by Elmore Leonard, which I picked up because a prof had once recommended him as a master of dialogue and I was curious. As it turns out, Mr Leonard is quite good with dialogue, and in fact manages to catch the personality of most of his characters with it. It's amazing to me that almost the entire novel was dialogue, with only a few things done in scenes. Quite a feat for a mystery, or thriller, or whatever it was.
I was reading thru GoFugYourself earlier and I found an article on Lindsay Lohan and her eating disorder (and her wardrobe malfunction) but it kind of made me sad. As teen-pop diva as she is I was pleased to see her on the cover of Vanity Fair with all her freckles present. All those lovely freckles not airbrushed into oblivion. (Just as I'm pleased to see Star Jones in cover girl ads these days)
On the good news front I was blindsided this am by a job opportunity. It's retail, but I'm not going to turn something down that's going to get me out of this current workplace, which, I believe is contibuting to my natural inclination towards anxiety - and thus the nasty headaches I've been getting. (Keep your fingers crossed, and I'll fill you in when I find out more.)
I think I have it pegged as anxiety - I mean, I've been really thinking about life, as in how the hell I got into this particular mental space lately. This anti-social depressed and basically fucked up head-space. (J did ask me where I saw us in 5 years, and I really had no idea. For so long the goal has been the degree, I hadn't given much thought to anything else.) I think I was just barrelling along and avoiding so much crap that I never really realised how things were really affecting me (and I'm not just talking about having an ex go to prison, I'm going way back, to childhood things; the kind of things that may seem insignificant in later years, but have really caused a ripple effect from then to now. Monster in the closet type of things.) Perhaps I'm being a little cryptic, but the ideas are still 'incubating' in my brain.
