No. I'm not dead. Just adjusting to a new schedule and to the fact that I can now vent about my old job; which I may or may not do.

Just to say.

This is a sample of my kooky writing - actually, this is really tidy for me. =P

How can one seperate work from one's life? perhaps that isn't clear; I'm talking about the fact when one is working full time to pay all the bills, how can one exclude work from what happens at home? You spend 40 hours a week in one place doing this repetitive thing and how are we supposed to get it so that it doesn't consume the rest of your waking brainwaves? I guess I feel like there's not enough time in the week to do everything I'd like to do - hell, there aren't enough hours in a single fucking day.

I think this now, probably because the job is new and I feel overwhelmed. I feel like I will never know all of the stuff I need to know, I feel like I'm walking on eggshells because I don't know what's acceptable and what isn't. (And also thinking how easy it would be to say 'fuck it' and go back to retail where I know the drill, just because it's easier - but that in itself is a problem: you can't move ahead by sticking with what is comfortable, can you? Not in school, your career, relationships, anything.)

I just need to get myself through the first few weeks and I think I should be ok.

I think I started out badly this week though, since it's PMS week, and I had wierd dreams about M - which I partially blame a conversation I had with my mother yesterday. And then I came home and ended up having a brief spat with J about housework - both of us talking "at cross-purposes" again - probably each of us resenting the other for not doing more and at the same time not being aware of how much the other really is doing. So that, the crapload of new info and crappy weather didn't make for a good day.

After work I wandered about downtown before the bus feeling like I wanted to go hide in the stacks at the bookstore or curl up in bed with the cats for a week. Feeling jumbled!