Tired. Cat is in heat and yowly again. Rrrrowr, rrowr, rrooowwweerrrr..... *crosses eyes*
I just watched J pick up a used q-tip from beside his keyboard and stick it back in his ear. (edit: J called me at work (!) to tell me that the q-tip was in fact clean and asked me to edit this post to reflect that. After pondering this for a few minutes I decided against it because the observation just isn't all that funny otherwise and is thus totally irrelevent.)
And American cash is dirty! My gawd. These bills are made of cotton, and everyone knows how cotton can suck up dirt and get grimey. These things turn my fingers black on a daily basis! I was wearing a bandaid on my thumb today and when I took it off at three, it wasn't flourescent orange anymore. The other thing that cotton holds onto is moisture. Think about that for a second. A cyclist comes in to get some canadian cash and he pulls a wad of bills from this back pocket. They're decidedly limp and slightly damp and hard to count... Can we say sweaty money? Thank gawd there's plenty of soap and anti-bacterial stuff around.
Oh, and people do funny things with it. There's one guy that's been in twice whose money smells like salt water. It's like he's stashed it in an undersea treasure chest for a week. It is any wonder that with the enormous amount of obsessive germ-freaks out there that people actually wash thier money? And ironit afterwards? I kid you not. I had a nice wad of washed and pressed hundreds this afternoon, smelling nicely of detergent.
Why do I feel totally annoyed today? Perhaps the fact that I had to go downtown again to get something from work. (Thwarted by my own stupidity, yarg.)I also forgot mom was coming yesterday which threw me off. I thought I had a free weekend for a change, but nooooo. Had to run into town twice and J's got the TV on all the time and I keep turning it down, but it keeps getting loud again .... And how he has this new headset, so he can't hear the other half of everything I say. (He either couldn't hear or chose not to aknowledge the first half before that, so I feel like giving up on talking. But then that might also be a symptom of my general crankiness.)
Not that I minded seeing the mother-unit, we had lots to talk about.
Just feeling really cranky is all. I should stop planning anything for myself because it never seems to work out these days.
Surely I can have a day to myself to recharge soon.
Listening to new music tonight - well, new for me. I got my hands on the entirety of Goldfrapp's album: Supernature. I have one word: Yum. Alison Goldfrapp's voice is like honey and velvet with a hint of smoke. Mix that with hypnotic beats and trippy rhythm, it's like a head full of moonlight on water. Ok, maybe I wax a wee bit too poetic, but I'm really liking this album. It's sexy to say the least. I want to play it very loud and annoy the neighbors.
The big boss is coming to town tomorrow. Nervous! This is supposed to be the guy who says yea or nay to my being the senior teller.
When I came home on Monday, J'd completely cleaned the house - rather he'd vacuumed and tidied and basically finished a large portion of what he started when he decided to rearrange the bedroom on sunday (an hour before we had to leave for the dinner). Granted the bedroom is far more roomy in it's new arrangement and the floor is clean (no cat hair!) I am amused by the piles of crap that have been left about. By the door into the bedroom there's a small heap of stuffed animals and odds and ends and by the couch some books and boxes - I think these are things he has no idea what to do with and is leaving them for me. I like this cleaning J better than the couch-bound one... but I fear the couch-bound one will be back if he doesn't hear from the job people.
Nomes: thankies for the offer, (and thank you again for the jewellry!) really but I'd rather my financial situation improved so that I didn't have to scrimp and avoid shopping malls like they were the devil. (I've not even bought a book in two months! The Horror!! Thank god for the internet and the library!)
I needs to put up me pegleg and guzzle a few pints of grog to celebrate talk like a pirate day - only there's no grog!
I drank it all!
Yesterday I had the joy of seeing Amber, Nomes AND the Lindsie during my lunch hour. It was totally amazing to see you guys all in one place and it was too bad that I couldn't skip out on work and galivant around with you - I can only imagine that the bellini's made it quite an entertaining experience - and Amber, please remember that licking shoes is only good when they come out of the box - after that you're not really sure where they've been, mmkay?
Kind of nervous - this week the bigwigs from head office will be around. L said I should look my most professional on Thursday - which means I have to wear the one outfit I consider even remotely professional and it's not even as yummy as I would like it to be. I should be used to this, but I'm not. I hate not having money. (november I will pretty much be the one in charge. As it stands right now I don't feel like I'm ready for the responsibility and can only hope that I feel more confident about all the crap I have to do on a daily basis when the time comes. I think I've come to terms already with the fact that I'm not leader material and I will be happy to hand the reigns back in December.)
J had an interview on sat. He almost put it off because he didn't have clean clothes (?) but I found some decent things and ironed them and went on the bus with him out to the place. He'll know by thursday. Keep your fingers crossed. I'm not in the mood for more crap.
I've been having all sorts of mad fantasies about moving to other cities and going back to school. I want to know when I'll feel like it's not beyond my means to actually follow up on one of them.
Ahoy there Landlubbers! I forgot last year, but not this time, thankies A! September 19th is Talk like a Pirate Day! I kid you not! So join me on tuesday as i further confuse our tourist-types with the occasional Aaaaarrrr!!
I was lookin' back to see if you were lookin' back at me to see me lookin' back at you
Wrote a good couple or nine pages today but I don't feel the urge to look at the novel just yet. I have three (yes three short stories and a novel spinoff in my head right now, and the pages were mostly outlines and snippets, but I think I can really get into them.) I'd really like to get back into the poetry again, but I get hung up and start in on the fiction. That's ok though, because I'm starting to think that poetry is something I have to wait for - like I have to age it a bit to have it become better than it is. It's like wine, needing to be aged a little before I can really do anything fabulous with it. OR, I could just need to stop dicking around and write more of it. Either way, I'm still missing the mark miserably there.
So long as I'm writing something then it really doesn't matter, does it?
I had a strange and very vivid dream this morning. I was at a playground at a university - a daycare I think, and as I was walking up this little boy, just over two I imagine came running up to me, with this red, red hair and this grin on his chubby cheeks and I swooped him up in my arms. That was it. Very vivid and it put me in a pensive mood.
I don't know what to do. I really don't. Couples are supposed to be supportive and help each other out, but it's hard to do that when the one that's on the low can't or won't accept it. We kind of talked about it yesterday after we fought over something trivial again, but I don't know if I feel like we've reached any sort of resolution or plan or anything. He's obviously depressed, which is hindering his ability to do much of anything, and having been there I know how hard it sucks, but short of just being here, available to talk to and whatever else there's not much I can do. Pretending that nothing is wrong is definately not going to fix anything. Making suggestions will only annoy him or frustrate him. Nagging will only push him deeper into this funk, but I'm getting to the point where I feel like I'm going to explode. Or implode since I've been bottling most of it. Starting to wonder if getting angry with him will make a difference, but I doubt it. It would be just one more reason to give up. It's my nature to try and find solutions for things, but in this instance it's really up to him and I have to just be patient.
Anyway, the point is, I'm working my butt off right now and starting to feel depressed myself because I'm worn out with that and worrying about J and how the hell I'm going to pay my loans let alone get ahead enough to even start thinking about the next step, whatever it is. J's home all day playing world of warcraft (with a bit of job hunting online) and I come home and I look at the piles of laundry to put away and the dishes and stuff and feel so tired that I just plug in too. Needless to say this is not getting any writing done.
So. Today I decided that I had better start on myself rather than wait around for J. I'm not going to sign into WoW until I've a) done a few things about the house and b) written something. Don't care what at this point so long as I'm using my brain for something other than nothing. It's not much but it's a start.
Scene from a book called "Snow White and rhe Seven Samurai" by Tom Holt involving the three pigs: Eugene, Desmond, and the youngest: Julian. As they walked home, Julian was unusually silent. Desmond,who'd been outlining his plan for a mobile home slung from the underside of a helium-filled airship ('Away, yes. Away we can handle. Down, no.') stopped dead in his tracks and waved a foreleg in front of Julian's snout.
'Julian,' he said. 'Snap out of it. You look like Uncle Claude just after they'd finished inserting the sage onion.'
'Sorry," Julian sighed. 'I was just thinking about what Eugene said; you know, about things getting out of trotter. He's right. Something very odd's going on.'
'So? Around here, it sort of goes with the territory.'
'Maybe. I guess I need to think it through a bit more.' He twitched his nose and sniffed, as if he'd just sensed truffles. 'Suddenly I'm beginning to see things that probably aren't there. You know, conspiracies and paranormal phenomena and cover-ups and everybody acting as if everything's perfectly normal. There's a word for it when you start doing that."
'American?'
'Paranoid. Maybe I'm getting paranoid.' He shook his shoulders. 'The hell with it," he said. 'Come on, I'll buy us each a turnip down at the Swill and Bucket.'
Overheard as a customer and his daughter were leaving the store:
"Daddy? Can we go to Miniature World now?" "Just a minute baby," "Daddy, Miniature world! I really wanna go!" "We can go to Miniature world in a bit, baby. I want to walk over to Niagra Falls before lunch. Then we can go see Miniature World, ok?"
He was too far out the door for me to point out that that would be a very, very long walk. (If you walk 5mph, it'd take approximately five months to walk there. I hope they aren't hungry!)
And yes Nomes, I get it too: "Can I change money here?"
Or how about some of this: "Excuse me, but what is this?" says a woman with a drawl as she pushes canadian bills through the slot. "I paid cash for my lunch and this is what the waitress gave me back, is this real?" "Yes they're quite real. Those are Canadian dollars ma'am." "You mean we're in Canada?"
