Lindsie brought me the latest edition of "Tiny String" today. <3 Thank you Lindsie.

The Kid is arriving tomorrow. Erm.

Have been thoughtful for most of the day. Had some interesting conversations. And a couple frustrating ones.

Things one should probably not do:

>derive your self-worth from other people
>hang your happiness on another person
>settle for "good enough"

feeling: raw

It's raining out. Ok that may be an understatement. It's pouring out. I like the sound.

I'm sad because I went to play my favourite Delerium CD (You know, Semantic Spaces like I was ranting about in an earlier post?) Well it turns out I was right. I have played it to death. I get to the third track (Resurrection) and it turns into this horrible skip-fest. Granted, I could find them in mp3 format somewhere - probably, but it's not the same. On the CD they flow one into the other and it's delicious.

J told me yesterday to clean off my HD so he could "fix" my computer.

In other news. The Kid may arrive this week. >.>

listening to: The Flood - Synaesthesia
eating: more disgusting cough drops (why does the cherry flavour always taste like ass?)
drinking: orange juice
feeling: ugh
headspace: eek

Raevan: don't come a knocking when the bed is a rockin
Raevan: Now in Portuguese
Raevan: nao vem me encher o saco enquanto eo to trepando
Emmiko: the white stuff you consume Evictus, you're sure it's sugar right?
Troubleman: LMAO
Celtix: rofl!
Arasil: I like how cocaine is the more acceptable alternative
Ishtarra: rofl no kidding

*

Arasil: I realized tonight...I'm really good at participating in mass suicide. Who wants to come over the next time a comet passes close?

*

Ishtarra: That fire chased me!
Arasil: Jerk!
Archimonde yells: This world will burn!

*

Arasil: it's the big blue thing running around
Ishtarra: HAHAHAHAHA /facedesk
Celtix: omg
Arasil: Hates healers, kittens and the elderly.
Ishtarra: apparently

*

Tanka: hey Ish
Arasil: how do we know it's you?
Ishtarra: You don't
Arasil: ...well played
Ishtarra: why do my fubar addons not show in fubar?
Arasil: they're fubared?
Ishtarra: smartass

*

Willyb: come here Torontogosh, I need some hot tree lovin'
Teacka: you're gonna get slivers Willy
Ragnoro: I did

*

Valea wishes the trees would move closer, the hammock isn't long enough.

*

Risele: if I hide under this Tauren he won't see me, right?

*

Arasil: Priests dying make pretty angels...it's just the incentive YOU give us.

*

Arasil: Hunter love. It's not like...normal love...it's just...hunter love.
Soulthief: /popcorn
Nantosuelta: :X
Rhavin: methinks he doth protest too much
Soulthief: it's...free-spirited

*

Ishtarra: you opened the door
Ishtarra: everyone here will push you through
Soulthief: and trip you on the way out!
Soulthief: tough love!

*

Rhavin: the whole concept of Tauren hunters is broken
Rhavin: how many times can a cow tell a lion what to do before it decides 'screw this... T-bone!'?

*

Dreadangus: I shall bring Kael some Hello Kitty merchandise to mark the occasion of his inevitable death.

*

Ishtarra: In Bovine, wrong = what works.

*

Soulthief: call me a good luck charm!
Ishtarra: Thanks for coming along
Soulthief: except when I lag and pull Gruul
Soulthief: forget about that, k
Ishtarra: forget about what? >.>
Soulthief: I'd ask you to marry me, but Jams is ML
Valea: yeah and loot is > love of course
Ishtarra: hahaha
Soulthief: love can fade, epics are forever
Soulthief:...until vended, of course.

*

Willyb: noob
Soulthief: me? DON'T CALL ME NOOB I GET EMO!
Shauni: no, you're not special enough
Soulthief: damn, now I'm going to get emo because I'm not special
Soulthief: that's it. I'm pulling aggro, feigning death so my healer dies.
Sisha: go ahead Trouble, see if it works.
Soulthief: I have ways of wiping raids
Soulthief: this ain't my first rodeo
Nantosuelta: /steals Soulthief's wallet
Rhavin: LOL
Nantosuelta: /goes on shopping spree
Willyb: I'm sorry trouble...TROUBLE buddy ole pal how's it going?
Soulthief: hmm? /puts hand on wallet

*

Rhavin: we have enough shamans to build a totem castle
Ishtarra: just for that?

*

Dreadangus: I kept trying to kill Jams
Dreadangus: Not sure if it was a Pavlovian thing or if I really wanted to kill him

*

Ishtarra: what is it with these things wanting to eat me?
Soulthief: they have good taste Ishy
Rhavin: they have good taste?
Ishtarra: cannibals!

*

Tanka: I summon the fuzzy creatures that bringeth the light. I summon the fancy spells that fizzle all night. let nature commence and heal thy wounds and resurrect my friend who is an utter noob!

*

Leanidas: you calling me fat?
Ishtarra: no I'm calling you steak!
Istharra: nom nom!
Valea: mmmm...steak
Leanidas: You know I'm more than just a piece of meat! /cry
Valea: dammit ish, now I want some beef...steak and burgers FTW
Ishtarra: yeah, but very tasty meat
Leanidas: how do you know what my meat taste like
Leanidas: think that came out wrong
Istharra: ROFL

*

Dreadangus: And we're gonna do this right and have fun doing it
Dreadangus: Raiding's like sex that way
Arasil: no...no it's not...

*

Ishtarra: wee! giant robot voyeurism!
Soulthief: is there any other kind ishy?

*

Dreadangus: it makes you a robosexual

*

Dreadangus: Quit getting knocked up!
Ishtarra: you and your entendres. have my babies?

*

Arasil: as a tree, I do not carry flint and tinder
Ishtarra: probably a good idea Arasil

*

Arasil: I love you long time. Three gold.
Dreadangus: Dear Arasil
Dreadangus: Yes. Yes you did.
Dreadangus: love, Dready

*

Dreadangus: Hey Tidewalker, why do you have a ships wheel on your belt?
Dreadangus: Arr, it's drivin' me nuts!
Ishtarra: you just didn't, did you?

*

Killertomato: if Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon...
Killertomato: who was holding the camera?
Dreadangus: <---this guy
Dageroth: Elvis
Foresthawk: martians?
Dageroth: or it was Godzilla
Dageroth: either one is applicable
Dreadangus: clearly it was Optimus Prime
Killertomato: I think it was Arthas, personally
Foresthawk: maybe it was Gamera
Foresthawk: or Prince of space
Ishtarra: I'm leaning towards Godzilla
Dreadangus: Neil Armstrong: "hey, who are you?"
Dreadangus: Arthas: "I'M REALLY COLD"
Killertomato: Illidan told Neil Armstrong "You are not prepared!"
Dreadangus: NA: "So, do you go by Really, or Mr. Cold?"
Dreadangus: Arthas: "Dick...*facepunch*"
Dreadangus: and so on in that fashion

*

Killertomato: I've always envisioned a Tauren in a spaceship
Killertomato: and a gnome in another
Foresthawk: cows!....in!....space!
Killertomato: and they like fight each other
Dreadangus: I'm pretty sure that will be the final raid of WoW
Killertomato: Darth Cow, Luke Gnomeregan-walker

*

Enyar: what are we raiding?
Nuance: the fridge
Kuwanea: stormwind
Ishtarra: /votes for the fridge
Luthrane: the tram
Jamnord: my pants
Extremevette: omg
Valjidor: i like where jams is going with this
Luthrane: is that a 3 man?
Extremevette: I'm sending Kitty
Extremevette: I'm sitting out

*

Mirame: "you better be a fuckin girl with a deep voice" lol

*

Ishtarra: and I wanted to kill stuff!
Maggymoo: me too ish!
Ishtarra: not that I'm a bloodthirsty cannibal or anything
Troubleman: you're a troll o.0
Ishtarra: yeah. ok. I lied.
Troubleman: /nods

*

Ishtarra: lol omg...who DI'd me?
Troubleman: /wink
Troubleman: I'd marry you too, but jams would kick me from the raid
Ishtarra: I couldn't figure out for a second why I couldn't cast
Arasil: I dunno...might be a good financial decision?
Troubleman: raid>marriage

*

Troubleman drops his trousers and moons Oron
Ishtarra covers her eyes
Arasil: No need Ish... there's nothing to see
Troubleman: o.0
Arasil: Blood Elf genetics

*

Troubleman: Ish ...rule number one!
Milexanic: crap, I turn my head for one minute to get a quick quickie and we wipe again!
Ishtarra: o.0
Troubleman: NEVER heal Jammy!
Arasil: a drink right, otherwise it's nothing to brag about
Troubleman: if it's that quick bro, it's not worth it
Ishtarra: that's what I was thinking
Dreadangus: turning you're head = you're doing it wrong
Flucks: lol!
Arasil: no explaining your short c... no I'm not going there. I am above this.
Troubleman: Arasil = in the middle of it
Arasil: eew
Torontogosh: druid love ftw
Arasil: brb shower... apparently sticky
Ishtarra: sap!
Troubleman: sapped girls don't say no?
Troublman: or so the rogues tell me
Ishtarra: not that kind of sap, he's a tree
Troubleman: ...no wonder Oron rolled a rogue.
Troublman: I always wondered

*

Dreadangus: I know that much, but unless you've recently learned how to pull about 16 primal airs out of your ass, I need to farm them.
Arasil: and if I could?
Dreadnagus: hello my new best friend!

*

Ishtarra: I've lost my voice, dammit
Nantosuelta: you can have mine
ishtarra: the evil germs stole it.
Troublmena: Silly girl, keep it in your throat
Valjidor: o.0
Troubleman: ...that sounded dirtier than I meant it to be
Arasil: wow I read that and not what started that comment
Arasil: ...agreed to both
Troubleman: lol
Livi: I liked it
Ashalae: scary stuff
nantosuelta: lol
Livi: but you guys know me
Ishtarra: omg, I love you guys, srsly
Troubleman: aaaw /group hug... except for Valjidor. I don't want him grabbing my ass.
Nantosuelta hugs Troubleman
Valjidor grabs Troubleman's ass.
Arasil: it soothes and coats?
Ashalae: /facepalm

*

Dreadangus: <---is a weapon ...of righteousness
Troubleman: <--is a shield...of heaven
Dreadangus: anyone have caster nomnoms?

*

Eyisila: tenderizing his meat
Valjidor: o.0
Ishtarra: I agree Val
Arasil: woah, wait, what?
Dirrtydozen: totally
Dreadangus: here "steak" is a euphemism for "wang"
Dreadangus: god help you if you ask what "A1" is
Ashalae: lol
Arasil: A1 Jamsauce?
Ishtarra: omg lol
Dreadangus: it's how "steak" is "done"

*

Troubleman: damn furbie
Willyb: I forgot to furwall
Troubleman: furbies are EVIL! minions of satan!
Eyisila: furbies are good with bbq sauce

*

Valjidor grabs Livi's ass.
Arasil: Livi's ass is no more. it's been grabbed off into oblivion..it was a nice one while it lasted.
Ishtarra: the downside to being an undead

*

Dirrtydozen licks Troubleman.
Ishtarra: how do you feel about being a Blood Elf Lollipop Trouble?
Troubleman: o.0
Arasil: it's a cult
Arasil: pay her no mind
Dreadangus: let's stay the hell away from such dangerous questions
Valjidor grabs Rinjii's ass.

*

Dreadangus: brutally, savagely Canadian
Valjidor grabs Theovertank's ass
Dreadangus: complete with moose and Inuits

*

Dageroth: Synx phone number: ***-***-****
Arasil: I'll call it and act like I'm calling information... and ask for terrible...terrible things
Dreadangus: Dromedary Erotica?

*

Dreadangus: burning bear smells HORRIBLE
Arasil: but tastes delicious
Dreadangus: dammit, beat me to it.
Arasil: especially with A1 jamsauce
Dreadangus: NO NO NO
Rinjii: what is that?
Dreadangus: Gross
Dageroth: >.<>.>
Nnantosuelta: yum!
Rinjii: You sure love that A1 sauce don't you
Arasil: I'm bringing A1 back
Arasil: it's cool

*

Jamnord: I'm giving Arasil the condom as his mark
Valjidor: say that again Jams
Arasil: No unwanted baby Dready's for me tonight!
Dreadangus: wtf!
Ishtarra: lol!
Dreadangus: my offspring would be a blessing on your household!
Valjidor: o.0
Dreadangus: I wish my character name was PatrickSwayze now :X
Arasil: it puts the lotion on or it gets the hose again

*

Eyisila: Willy is everyone's furry love muffin
Dreadangus: incoming "small genitalia" jokes
Valjidor grabs Troubleman's ass.
Dreadangus: BROKEBACK PALADIN

*

Arasil: if you can't take the heat...stay out of the A1 Jamsauce Train of Raiding
Arasil: you want to avoid the condiments here

*

Willyb: hey, I can see up Ishy's skirt
Livi: I can too
Ishtarra: well, I can see up yours
Livi: you really gotta start wearing underpants Ishy
Dreadangus: bear in a dress?
Willyb: hey, you're a cow in a dress - besides it's a KILT
Dreadangus: pot, kettle

Labels: WoW Chat funnies

I just made myself some tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich. Now I'm going to bed.

Home early today due to sick. Napped. I like naps. Would like them better if my brain would shut the hell up.

I'm tired of masks. I sprawl in bed and watch the shadows the traffic makes on the ceiling wishing I could just bare my self. (I thought I had done a little of that already, you see I lost some of my mousiness when I moved away from home for the first time. I can approach total strangers and have a conversation with them and not be nervous or embarrassed - but that is really not the same thing. That's confidence - which is in itself a kind of mask.) Baring my self is not giving it away... though perhaps that is what I am wary of? Losing myself? I have done that before and it was very, oh so very hard to find again - in fact I may not have found all the pieces as yet. That makes me nervous. How do I know that who you know is the real me? What if the real me a month from now is totally different than the me I am now? You might call that a bit of an identity crisis. Perhaps this is what I mean by "too much".

The act of breathing when I think like this can feel like too much.

That kind of too much on top of the rest, the everyday things. You know the things required of me to make my life work: working to make money, paying the bills, balancing what comes in with what goes out, having conversations with people and making sense, getting employees to do things as required, maintaining relationships, not freaking out when something goes wrong (I hide behind optimism sometimes because it is the only way I can cope with some things.)

And then there are those things I feel I am "expected" to do and/or be. For instance: I was expected to take the promotion at work and some part of me took it also because of guilty feelings which is a bunch of crap because I doubt anyone at HO would have cared two shits whether I wanted the spot or not. I didn't owe them anything in that respect so where did the guilt come from? Now I can't wait to get out of it. Yes, the pay is good, but I was never one to take a job just because of the money. *Cough* those words did not taste good.

So when people ask me what I'm doing next, the answer that pops out is always "school". It comes out because a) it sounds good and b) I fucking miss it. I miss school. I miss everything about it, even the deadlines and exams and bureaucracy. I thought for a time I wanted to be a teacher, but discovered in the course of a few classes that it was less the atmosphere that I loved and more the opportunity to ask questions and develop with a group of like-minded individuals. To discuss and debate - things I do not get the opportunity to do at work or at home. (This is part of the reason I love my friends the way I do and why I miss them so freaking much.) So. What then is the appeal of the MLIS? In a way it combines the two things I love most: books and knowledge/learning. I would not, admittedly, have a ton of spare time to root around in random archives just drinking in the information, but perhaps is as good a place as any to satisfy my lust for brain-fodder. Or perhaps a bookstore. Or... or!

listening to: Nomads - Synaesthesia
reading:Self-Reliance - Ralph Waldo Emerson
eating: there is no spoon!
drinking: tea! with lemon!
feeling: crampy, bloated, feverish, sore throat, confused and strangely languid.
headspace: inside a giant ball of wool

Had a lovely day with Lindsie today. We had lunch at the beacon drive-through thing by the park and then wandered about. At one point we sad on a log on the beach and watched the rain and thunder and lightening out on the water. It was very nice to sit and listen to the waves and then the slow roll of thunder as it carried across the water towards us from the far side of the strait. We could see the mountains like a dark blue shadow in the rain. Very cool.

Went back downtown to have a 'going away' dinner with Lady J and The Whirlwind. That was also quite nice. I will miss them both.

Now there's this strange electrical stillness in the air, and I can smell ozone. I think the storm is going to break over our heads any moment.

My back is still not happy with me. Nor is my throat - it's gone from annoying morning tickle to almost all day annoying tickle. I don't think the heat helped at all since I found myself breathing through my mouth quite a bit. It was so hot today I didn't want to move. 31 degrees outside and no matter what I did I couldn't get cooler. I showered twice and I think I've drank enough water to fill the tub twice. I hope it's not so hot tomorrow.

I used the time to read - and spend time with the parental unit. She brought me kitty reports, which always make me smile. I miss my kitties horribly.

But I've read the entirety of Utopia and have started (halfheartedly, I admit) Plato's Republic. I've got the Pillowbook of Sei Shonagon waiting for me when I've done - if I can wait that long. (To think that this was written about the same time that Beowulf was first set down on paper...) I thought it was time that I started reading all the things I'd been meaning to read for however long, because, well, why not?

Anyway, Utopia has made me think. I like that. It's so freaking relevant in some ways that I found myself now and then going "yep!" and sometimes "hrm..." because the downside to a "perfect" society is, of course, a lack of variety. I'll probably read it again, since it's relatively short, and honestly funny. I think More had a fine sense of humour even as he sought to address the ills of his government.

"After all, it's a natural instinct to be charmed by one's own productions. That's why raven chicks are such a delight to their parents, and mother apes fond their babies exquisitely beautiful." ~Utopia, Book I

"...as if it would be a major disaster for anyone to be caught being wiser than his ancestors!"~Utopia, Book I

"For, when everyone's entitled to get as much for himself as he can, all available property, however much there is, is bound to fall into the hands of a small minority, which means that everyone else is poor. And wealth will tend to vary in inverse proportions to merit. The rich will be greedy, unscrupulous, and totally useless characters, while the poor will be simple, unassuming people whose daily work is far more profitable to the community than it is to them." ~Utopia, Book I

Now lets hope I get some sleep tonight now that it's cooler.

listening to: Tenuous - Sleepthief
reading: Utopia - Thomas More
eating: uh... leftover things...
feeling: melted
headspace: what the hell am I doing here?

You know... I shouldn't laugh, but seriously, this guy hasn't got a clue.

Labels: random

in other news.... omg flashback to the 80's.
This song popped randomly into my head earlier today. No. I have no idea why.